Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize