You can't special order awesome
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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