You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
