butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
