IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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