Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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