Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
