Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
