Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I had to cum in my sink.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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