Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
