Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
