i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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