omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
