I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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