well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize