i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
where does the pee come out of this thing
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
