Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize