butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
