So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
