i don't like sucking hair
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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