We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
