He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize