I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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