so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
