i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I came so hard my ears popped.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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