based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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