Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
