I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
