I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
