I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
