doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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