love makes seman taste better
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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