pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
