Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize