I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
