she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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