I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
