Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
