Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
