she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
