Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize