I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I could fuck to npr.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
