but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
