we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
