FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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