either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
