Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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