Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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