So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
