idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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