Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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