She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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