I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
