And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
