Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize