What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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