Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
