She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
